And the Kick OFF...

Well, I started feeling the baby kick a week or so ago. But today, I am starting to feel it quite a bit more. I was looking through Munckin's Baby book and saw that I had recorded her first kick around 15 weeks, with this one, I was 14 weeks. It makes me so excited to feel what I'm going to feel over the next few months. As I've been reminiscing about Munckin's birth, I have been thinking quite a bit about the actual birth, and what I want with the delivery of my next child. I delivered my daughter after 4 days of labor, 18 hours of which was in hard active labor at the hospital. I was given pitocin after 8 hours, and declined ALL pain medication during labor. Why is it that we live in a society where birth is a "medical condition." I've given thought to the idea of birthing at home, even. However, not only is my Hikari not comfortable with the idea, but I have serious anxiety issues about it, and for me, a hospital birth gives me the peace of mind that I need in order to relax. When I was in labor with Munckin, the nurse I had kept offering "other forms of pain relief." Did she not get the memo? I politely declined, but was quite frustrated that she wanted to sabbatoge any efforts that I had made to experience this without any medication. In the morning when the shift changed, not only did I have a nurse who had actually HAD children, I had a nurse that gave me support for my decision and even had suggestions on breathing and labor positions. My doctor was on board with me from the beginning and understood my desires, of which I am grateful.
I guess these past few weeks, I have been thinking about what I enjoyed about Munchkin's birth, and what I want different. I think that a better education on my part would have led to a more successful birth experience. We went to one birthing class while I was pregnant, and the nurse was certainly not "pro-epidural" but she wasn't openly against it either. She let all the women know that whatever their choice, they will probably have to get through a few hours of contractions on thier own, and it would be helpful to know some breathing and position techniques. But she also explained each of the different procedures that may or may not happen. Not once did she discuss the pros and cons to each procedure, but what it was and how they did it. What they never said was that every single one of them was in interference with the natural process that our bodies are made to do. I think there is certainly a place and a need for some of those procdures, but all too often, women go in expecting to have an IV put in, a pitocin drip started, an epidural placed, and episiotomy performed, and foreceps used. That when one says, I'm going to have a baby, that's what they have to look forward to. Women have been birthing children since the beginning of time. And I know that until the last century or less, they were born without those procedures.
When we first were married, I had told Hikari that I think I want to have a natural child birth when we have children. I did a little research and decided to move forward with it, against the advice from many women who had recently had children, all with epidurals. But I have a craving to go into this one armed with as much information as I can get my hands on, so that every decision I make and every nod of my head is an educated decision and not just because "the nurse/doctor told me that's what I should do."
If I have my appendix rupture I would more than likely nod my head and say, "because the doctor said I should probably have it out before I die." But when it comes to my own child...to doing something that my body was made to do, to doing something that is not a medical emergency, please let me have a baby in a hospital, but let me have my baby, not "perform a medical procedure."

Halloween is here

Christmas is coming...

and I know that it is not even Halloween yet, but I'm too excited. I got our New Nativity set from the nice FedEx Man today!!! Our old Nativity is...well not as wonderful as I want my Nativity display to be. I bought it my first year of college at a bargain store in St. George when I was very poor. I think the whole thing cost me $6.00 or so. I loved it and cherished it because it completed the Christmas decor. You can't have Christmas decorations without a Nativity Scene! Last year, when Munchkin helped me get it out, she fell in love with it! She was big enough that she could reach and would play with Baby Jesus. I think a Wise man lost a hand, and we almost lost baby Jesus. I told Hikari that next year, I wanted to look at getting a new Nativity Set. And we found one!! What's even better, is that Munchkin can play with it all she wants, and I don't have to worry about something breaking! I love Fisher-Price!!! I can't wait to display it!!

General Conference

I always get excited for conference weekend. It seems that each conference there is something in there, just for me. My favorite talk was by Sister Beck, the Relief Society President. I am homesick...for home. For the 2.75 years of my Munchkin's life, I have worked almost full time for almost all of it. There is nothing more than I want right now than to me home. It's interesting to talk to people about this desire of mine, and how much stronger it is now that we are preparing to bring another child into this world. Hikari and I have talked about this many times, and he says that even he has had people question why. For five years I worked in a bank and the environment was very friendly to the idea of me as a mother. I was able to nurse for the first year of her life, and pumped while I was at work, because that was very important to me. However, I have found that now that I work in Salt Lake, especially, I am questioned on why I would want to be home. Two years ago, I got my certificate as a paralegal. I found a job working as an office manager in Salt Lake. And while those in my office don't really question my desires, I work in a place with many offices and I've gotten to know many people. They wonder why I'm not pursuing my career as a paralegal, and how successful I could be, and how much more I can make. When I tell that that I just want to be home, it's met with questions. Why? Why quit when I could make more money working? Why don't a want a career for myself? Why do I want to babysit for the rest of my life. I knew all the reasons why, and it was simply, because I want to be a mom who is home with her children. I feel like I have had to jusitfy my reasons for just wanting to be a mom. Until Sunday. When Sister Beck talked about the importance of being a mother and raising righteous children, I knew I was on the right path. I am glad to be a part of something that values mother's so much. I wonder if I'm doing enough to teach our little munchkin the things that she needs to know to arm herself against the evils that have become so much bigger than I ever remember when I was growing up. But then I also can take comfort knowing that for these last few months that I do need to work, my munchkin is in the hands of a loving grandmother and a loving aunt who love her very much, and have the same wishes for her as I do. I have appreciated thier love and support more than they will ever know. I can only hope that I can do as good a job as I want to. I am raising the next generation, and am honored to be a part of that.